Redefining Self-Care: Why It’s More Than Bubble Baths (and More Essential Than You Think)
What Self-Care Really Means
(And Why It’s Not Just Pampering)
“Self-care” is a term that gets thrown around a lot these days—often paired with images of bubble baths, candles, or a luxurious spa day. While those activities can be lovely and restorative, they’re just one very narrow slice of the bigger picture. Real self-care goes deeper.
According to the World Health Organization (WHO, 2023), self-care is “the ability of individuals, families and communities to promote their own health, prevent disease, maintain health, and to cope with illness with or without the support of a health or care worker.” Another definition, by Martínez et al. (2021), describes it as “the ability to care for oneself through awareness, self-control, and self-reliance in order to achieve, maintain, or promote optimal health and well-being.”
No bubble baths mentioned.
That’s because true self-care is not about indulgence—it’s about survival. It’s the foundation of your mental, emotional, and physical health and well-being.
Why Self-Care Is Essential (Not Optional)
Modern life is filled with chronic stress, unrealistic demands, and nonstop stimulation. Many people push through burnout without realizing how much damage they’re doing to their bodies and minds. Over time, ignoring your needs can lead to:
Physical symptoms like fatigue, chronic pain, sleep problems, or weight changes
Mental fog, low motivation, or feeling like you’re never good enough
Emotional struggles like anxiety, depression, or irritability
Self-care is how we begin to reclaim our health and peace of mind. It’s about becoming aware of how we are feeling and what we need to do to feel our best. It's not a luxury—it's a necessity.
How to Identify What Self-Care Looks Like for You
There’s no one-size-fits-all list of self-care habits. What works for someone else might not be right for you—and that’s okay. What matters is tuning in to your own needs and making small, sustainable choices that support your well-being.
A helpful framework comes from the Veterans Health Administration, which outlines eight core areas of self-care. You can use these as a guide to check in with yourself. Ask yourself, is there anything that you want to change about the way you are treating yourself in each area?
1. Moving the Body
Are you getting enough physical activity? Does movement feel energizing or exhausting?
2. Surroundings
Do you feel safe, comfortable, and supported in your home and work environments? Are there any changes you’d like to make to spaces where you spend your time?
3. Personal Development
Are you learning, growing, or trying new things that excite you?
4. Food & Drink
Are you fueling your body in a way that supports your health? Are you hydrated? How is your relationship with alcohol or sugar?
5. Recharge
Are you getting enough quality sleep? Do you give yourself time to rest or pause?
6. Relationships
Do you have people in your life who support you and listen without judgment?
7. Spirit & Soul
Do you feel a sense of purpose or connection to something larger than yourself?
8. Power of the Mind
What kind of stories does your mind tell you? Are your thoughts kind, helpful, or self-critical?
Reflect on which areas feel strong, and which ones might need more attention. Start small—change one or two things at a time to avoid overwhelm.
Self-Care for Chronic Illness:
Honoring Your Limits
Self-care looks different when you’re living with a chronic illness. In these situations, self-care becomes a vital part of symptom management, not a special treat.
When your body is already under stress, taking care of yourself includes:
Tracking what makes you feel better or worse
Setting and honoring your physical and emotional limits
Surrounding yourself with people who support your well-being
Accepting what’s outside your control and focusing your energy on what is
This can be difficult work—especially in a culture that often rewards productivity over presence. But for those with illness, self-care is not optional—it’s part of staying alive, stable, and as well as possible.
What Gets in the Way of Self-Care?
(Hint: It Might Be You)
Even when we know we need to take better care of ourselves, something often stops us. And more often than not, that something is our own inner voice.
Common stories we tell ourselves include:
“Rest is weakness.”
“Everyone else manages—why can’t I?”
“I don’t have time for self-care.”
“I should be able to push through this.”
Try These Two Tools to Shift Your Self-Care Mindset:
Observe the thought without believing it:
Think: “I’m having the thought that...”
This simple shift helps create space between you and your thoughts.Reframe the thought to support your well-being:
Consider whether more data needs to be incorporated into your thought
“Rest is a waste of time.” Becomes “Rest allows me to recharge so I can show up fully in my life.”
Your thoughts don’t have to dictate what you do and how you feel.
You Don’t Have to Earn Self-Care
If checking in with yourself physically, mentally, or emotionally has revealed that you're not where you want to be —that’s not a failure. It’s a signal.
Self-care is not about perfection. It’s about building a life that supports your health, energy, and emotional resilience. It’s about living a life that is aligned with what is most important to you. You don't need to earn it. You don’t need to be sick enough or stressed enough to deserve it.
👉 Ask yourself: What’s one small thing I can do today to take better care of myself?
If you’re feeling stuck, therapy can help. Together, we can explore your habits, reshape your mindset, and create a more sustainable relationship with your own needs.
💬 Click here to schedule a free 15-minute consultation with Dr. Cathy and start building a self-care routine that actually supports your life.
References:
Martínez, N., Connelly, C. D., Pérez, A., & Calero, P. (2021). Self-care: A concept analysis. International Journal of Nursing Sciences, 8(4), 418–425. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ijnss.2021.08.007
Veterans Health Administration. (n.d.). Self-care. Whole Health Library. U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs. https://www.va.gov/WHOLEHEALTHLIBRARY/self-care.asp
World Health Organization. (2023, June 13). Self-care health interventions. https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/self-care-health-interventions
