Self-Care That Actually Works: Why One-Size-Fits-All Isn’t the Answer

Everywhere you look, someone’s trying to sell you self-care.

Your feed is full of “5-Step Self-Care Routines” and “Top Tips to Treat Yourself.”
TV commercials push bath bombs and face masks as mental health essentials.
Podcasts promise that if you just wake up earlier, drink more green juice, or buy the right planner, you’ll finally be living your “best life.”

But here’s the problem:
Most of this advice is overwhelming, unrealistic — and not actually helpful.

In trying to do more self-care, you might find yourself more stressed, not less.
You might even start wondering: Am I doing this wrong? Or Is this really worth it?
If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

You Don’t Need More Self-Care Tips. You Need a Self-Care Plan That’s Yours.

Here’s the truth:
There is no one-size-fits-all self-care routine.
Your self-care should be exactly that — care for yourself. Personalized. Aligned to what’s important to you. Grounded in your real life.

I know — that sounds like more work. But as with most worthwhile things in life, putting in the work now will pay off in the future.  Designing a self-care plan that reflects your needs, values, and reality is one of the most powerful things you can do for your mental health.

How to Build a Personalized Self-Care Plan

You don’t need to overhaul your life overnight. Start small. Think intentional, not ideal. And stop listening to what others say you should be doing.

Here’s a simple framework you can start using today:

1. Reflect on Your Values

What truly matters to you? What makes life meaningful? What are the most important things in your life?

2. Identify Behaviors That Support Those Values

For example, if you value connection, “call a friend” might become a self-care habit.

3. Set Realistic, Specific Goals

Choose 1–2 actions that feel doable this week. Small wins build momentum.

4. Do Your Best

Don’t aim for perfection and don’t beat yourself up if you miss the mark.  Just keep trying and showing up for yourself.

5. Check In

Celebrate what’s working and re-evaluate what isn’t.

6. Repeat as Needed

Self-care is a cycle, not a checklist. Keep coming back to what matters most.

Coming Up: A Deeper Dive Into Each Step

In the next few posts, I’ll walk you through each step in more detail, so you can build a self-care plan that supports your mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing — without adding more stress to your plate.

Ready to Take the Next Step?

If self-care feels overwhelming, exhausting, or just out of reach — therapy can help.

In therapy, we work together to explore what actually works for you and build a life that feels more sustainable.  Reach out today to talk to Dr. Cathy about how you can feel more grounded, aligned, and supported.