How to Check In With Yourself: A Mental Health Guide to Reconnect With Your Body, Emotions, and Thoughts
How are you? – Really
“How are you?” It’s a question we hear every day - often said casually, without expecting a real answer. We tend to respond automatically: “I’m fine,” “Busy,” or “Hanging in there.” But how often do we stop and ask ourselves how we’re really doing? Most of us move through the day doing one thing after another, not thinking about how we're actually doing. Sometimes, we even go out of our way to avoid thinking about how we’re feeling.
We shush the little voice in our heads that suggests we’re tired, overwhelmed, or disappointed. We ignore the cues from our bodies that let us know that something feels off. When we don’t take the time to check in, we miss out on the chance to make meaningful adjustments. There’s power in tuning in. It helps us regain a sense of control and clarity. So why is it so hard to do?
Why is it so hard to check in with yourself?
Our culture celebrates doing - productivity, achievement, and pushing through. It discourages slowing down, resting, and reflecting. When life gets busy, we slip into survival mode, just doing what we can to get through the day. Have you ever felt like your alarm clock was the starting gun for some wild obstacle course of a day? Not a relaxing jog, but one of those races with mud pits, hurdles, and electric shocks. You just keep moving, trying not to think too much. This way of life has become the norm, and it’s exhausting.
Slowing down can feel indulgent or even selfish in a world that praises hustle. We often put ourselves last. When we’re on autopilot, our minds race ahead to the next task, and we stop paying attention to the present moment. Sometimes, we’re afraid of what we’ll find if we pause: sadness, exhaustion, illness, dissatisfaction. But avoiding the truth doesn’t protect us — it just delays our progress.
Benefits of a Mental Health Check-In
Checking in is an act of self-respect. It signals that you matter — not just what you do. You can’t care for yourself if you don’t know what you need. And you can’t shift what you’re not aware of. Regular check-ins can help catch small issues before they snowball. Feeling a little tired is easier to address than full-on burnout.
Taking stock of how you’re doing allows you to realign your time, energy, and choices with what truly supports your well-being. It brings intentionality to your life instead of letting autopilot run the show.
When we do take the time to check in and listen to what our minds, bodies, and hearts are saying, we learn a lot. As with any new skill, this can take practice. Below are some ways to go about checking in. If you have time, allow yourself to do it all in one sitting. Alternatively, commit to checking in with one part of you - your body, behaviors, emotions, or thoughts – each day.
How to Check In With Your Body
Your body often provides the first clue that something is not quite right. It can register stress, illness, or emotional strain before your mind does. Start by noticing how your body feels using a body scan.
Mentally move your awareness through each part of your body. Start at your toes and slowly make your way into your feet, ankles, calves, all the way up to the top of your head. Notice how each part of your body feels.
Notice sensations without judgment or trying to change them – just notice any tension, aches, pains, stiffness, etc.
How are you breathing? Is it fast or slow? Deep or shallow?
Are you tired? Sluggish? Wired? Restless?
Even uncomfortable sensations are part of your body and give you information about how you are doing right now. Pay attention. What is your body telling you it needs right now? Try to view these sensations as information, rather than inconveniences.
Signs of Burnout: What Are Your Behaviors Telling You?
Start to pay attention to what you are doing. Notice the things that you are doing on a daily basis. What routines or habits have become automatic? Are they helping you feel your best, or just getting you through the day?
Are you getting good sleep?
Are you nourishing your body with healthy food and movement?
Are you avoiding things that need your attention? Perhaps you’ve been staying up late, procrastinating, or pushing yourself too hard.
Are you spending time with the people you care about? Or are you withdrawing from others, or becoming easily irritated? Are you present in your interactions or not really paying attention to what others are saying, doing, or feeling?
Maybe you’re spending a lot of time on social media, using food or substances to cope, or working beyond your limits.
These behaviors are signals. They may be attempts to soothe discomfort or avoid something difficult. But are they actually helping you feel better — or just numbing you?
What have you done lately that brings you joy? Are your behaviors reflective of what is most important to you? Be honest with yourself about what you are doing. If you are feeling brave, you can also ask others in your life what they’ve been noticing about your behaviors.
Emotional Awareness: How to Name What You Feel
Often we see emotions as things that pop up and don’t really pay attention to them until they are too intense to ignore. Yet, they are always there. View your emotions as information, more data about how you are doing.
Try to name what you’re feeling using one-word answers: happy, sad, angry, overwhelmed, anxious.
Notice if you are feeling many emotions at once – even ones that seem to contradict each other. That’s normal.
Resist the urge to judge or suppress what comes up.
Sometimes emotions feel messy or overwhelming and we’d prefer to box them up and pretend they aren’t there. But it takes a lot of energy to keep the lid on that box, it can be draining. Sometimes we are afraid of being hurt and we build walls to keep the “bad” emotions out. The problem with this is that the wall also prevents the “good” emotions from getting in. You need to feel sad sometimes so that you know what it feels like to be happy. By allowing yourself to feel, you create room for emotional resilience and growth.
How to Observe Your Inner Dialogue Without Judgment
Finally, what is your inner voice saying? Sit quietly for a minute and listen to your inner dialogue.
Is there a clear sequence of thoughts or does it feel like you are all over the place? Are your thoughts complete? Or are they fragments that don’t resolve?
Are your thoughts meandering through your mind or racing?
What is the tone of the thoughts? Is the message kind or critical?
Do you find yourself stuck in the same loops or worries? Are you imagining worst-case scenarios, jumping to conclusions, or making assumptions about others?
These thought patterns can shape how you feel and act. Simply observing them helps you recognize when your mind is spinning stories that aren’t helpful. With awareness comes the option to respond differently.
What now?
Take a breath. You just gave yourself the gift of attention. What was it like to take some time for yourself to notice how you are really doing? Reflect on what you learned.
What surprised you? Did you have any suspicions that were confirmed?
What part of you spoke the loudest — your body, behaviors, emotions, or thoughts?
What needs your attention and care?
You don’t have to solve everything all at once. Even just noticing is a powerful first step. From here, you can make small, intentional changes. You can choose what to keep, what to release, and what to do differently. The goal isn’t perfection — it’s alignment. Alignment with what is most important to you, with how you want to feel, and who you want to be.
Checking in with yourself is how you begin that process. It’s how you move from just surviving to truly living. And it starts with a simple question: “How am I — really?”
Need Support with Mental Health or Burnout?
Sometimes it is helpful to work with someone else to explore how you are doing or to make adjustments. You might feel like something isn’t right but you aren’t quite sure how to make changes or even what the changes should be. You might also discover something that feels too big to navigate alone. If you're struggling with chronic stress, burnout, or emotional overwhelm, or if something just feels off, therapy can help.
Book a free 15-minute consultation with Dr. Cathy Bykowski to explore how therapy can help you reconnect with yourself and realign your life.
