When Your Thoughts Get in the Way of Your Mental and Physical Well-Being — And How to Take Back Control
Making changes to support your physical and psychological health is often harder than we expect. Between life responsibilities, stress, and negative thinking patterns, it’s easy to feel stuck. One of the most persistent roadblocks? Your own inner monologue — that constant stream of automatic thoughts that quietly influence your mood, motivation, and daily habits.
The good news is that you can learn to notice and challenge these thoughts, so they stop getting in the way of your physical health, mental health, and overall well-being.
Thoughts, Behaviors, and Mood
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) teaches that our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are deeply interconnected. What we think affects what we do — and how we feel.
For example: “I can’t possibly get everything done in time.”
This thought sparks anxiety, so you cancel dinner plans to finish your to-do list. Missing that social connection leaves you feeling isolated, leading to a new thought: “I’m a terrible friend.” And the cycle continues.
Our brains are wired to detect danger and focus on stressful information — a helpful skill if you were surviving in the wilderness, but less useful when you’re just trying to get through your day. These unhelpful thoughts happen so quickly that we often don’t even realize they’re driving our actions and emotions.
When it comes to self-care, these thoughts might stop us from making the changes we need to feel healthier and more connected to our values. The first step toward breaking this cycle is learning to recognize these unhelpful thinking patterns, also known as cognitive distortions or thinking errors.
7 Common Negative Thinking Patterns That Sabotage Self-Care
Here are some of the most common thinking errors that can quietly derail your self-care — plus examples so you can spot them in your own thoughts.
1. All-or-Nothing Thinking
Also called black-and-white thinking, this occurs when you see things as all good or all bad, ignoring the middle ground.
Example: “If I can’t work out for a full hour, there’s no point exercising at all.”
2. Catastrophizing
Exaggerating a smaller event into a worst-case scenario. It’s like falling down a rabbit hole: one thing happens, and suddenly it’s a disaster.
Example: “I missed my morning meditation — now my whole day is ruined.”
3. Labeling / Mislabeling
Giving a negative label to yourself or a situation, ignoring nuance or context.
Example: “I forgot to meal prep — I’m just lazy and irresponsible.”
4. Should Statements
Thinking in terms of rigid “shoulds” or “musts” – rules that often have little basis in reality.
Example: “I should always put myself last to be a good parent.”
5. Emotional Reasoning
Believing that how you feel reflects reality.
Example: “I feel guilty for taking time for myself, so I must be selfish.”
6. Overgeneralizing
Drawing broad conclusions based on a single event or limited evidence.
Example: “I skipped my workout once; I’ll never stick to an exercise routine.”
7. Fortune Telling
Predicting the future, usually focusing on a single possible outcome and ignoring alternatives.
Example: “If I don’t cut down on my sugar, I am going to get diabetes.”
How to Catch Unhelpful Thoughts Before They Sabotage You
Recognizing these distortions is the first step to breaking the cycle. One practical CBT strategy you can try today is the 3Cs tool:
Catch it - Notice the unhelpful thought
“I’ll never stick to an exercise routine.”
Check it - Look for evidence for and against the thought
“I went to yoga twice last week — maybe this isn’t true.”
Change it - Replace it with a more balanced version
“I missed today, but I can pick it up again tomorrow.”
With practice, this process helps you step back from automatic thinking and make choices that better support your wellbeing.
Practical Next Steps for Building a Healthier Mindset
These are just the tip of the iceberg. Unhelpful thoughts can subtly — but powerfully — interfere with how you care for yourself. The good news: You don’t have to believe every thought your mind tells you.
In the coming weeks, I’ll be doing deep dives into each type of unhelpful thought, with practical strategies to challenge and shift your thinking so it works for you, not against you.
If you’re ready to start noticing these thoughts in your own life, check out the full blog series for more examples and strategies.
And if you’re noticing these patterns in your daily life and want personalized support, book a consultation. Together, we can explore why these thoughts are showing up and build strategies to help you achieve your goals — and feel better along the way.
